Most people spend their 1:1s talking about their own goals and challenges. I took the opposite approach - and it changed everything.
When Dave Chen became my manager, I started asking him: "๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ผ๐?" Not as a formality, but with genuine curiosity about his biggest challenges.
Each time, it led to bigger stretch opportunities. One day he said: โYou can help me by taking over my job since Iโm leaving!โ This is how I got the opportunity to lead a large global developer productivity organization for Google Workspace!
๐๐๐ธ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฝ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐บ.
This flips the typical dynamic and shows you're thinking strategically about their success.
๐จ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฝ๐: "I've been thinking about your priorities and challenges. Is there anything I could help you with or take off your plate? I'd love to find ways to support your goals."
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ธ๐:
โ Shows you understand that your success is tied to theirs
โ Demonstrates leadership potential and service mindset
โ Reveals stretch opportunities they might not think to offer
โ Builds trust and deeper working relationship
๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐บ๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ: Managers often have projects they'd love help with but don't know how to delegate effectively. Your offer gives them permission to share real challenges.
๐๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ผ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฝ: Be specific about what you can realistically take on and deliver excellent results.
๐๐ณ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ณ๐น๐ฒ๐ฐ๐: Keep asking consistently. It takes time to build this level of trust.
The bonus? This conversation naturally leads to better understanding of business priorities, exposure to higher-level work, and positioning yourself as indispensable to your manager's success.
Make their job easier and yours might get a lot more interesting.
๐ Liked this post? Follow me on LinkedIn or here on Substack for the remaining posts in this series and more!
โ Want to get even better at asking? I still have a limited number of seats left in the July 25 cohort of my course. Last cohort of this year! https://maven.com/chaitali-narla/outstanding-tech-career